Hello writers! Do you want readers? Of course you do! But how do writers get readers to read their writing if readers have never read the writing a writer writes? That’s an excellent question! So glad you asked.
There’s a couple ways you could do this. You could take the long and boring traditional route: begin by writing something good, which is really hard and could literally take years. Then, you’d have to package and market it attractively. This too could take a good long while. Then you’ll need to engage with available bloggers who’d be interested in your book. This also takes time and savvy research and a genuine interest in the blogger. But who has time for any of that, am I right?
Since reviews are what sells your book, you could always buy reviews, but that’s super expensive. Also, you could try to get published, then your publisher would do all this legwork for you. But after that one rejection letter... well, let’s not talk about that one rejection letter.
Hey! You wrote a book! A book that everybody will love and fall over themselves to pay for. The world needs to see your book right now! You’re a writer, they’re book bloggers. What else is there to know?
I’ve developed a couple handy form letters to use when courting book bloggers. Simply copy the letter which most closely resembles your predicament, paste into an email of your own and Bob’s your uncle! I should warn you, though—before pressing ‘send,’ you might want to leave your front door open or those book bloggers may just kick it in, what with the mad, hungry rush at that book of yours.
Delima #1—blogger isn’t taking submissions.
read—blogger isn’t taking submissions from anyone, but you
Book blogging is super hard right? First you have to read the book maybe. Then you have to write a good review and spend like, forever selling it for us authors. All without pay. Believe me, I totally get how time consuming that might be!
I know your review policy stated you’re not currently accepting books for review, and I totally respect that. I respect that so much, I’m actually going to completely ignore it and send you my book anyway. Because my book stands apart from the rest. Why? It’s super rad. That’s why. You’ll be thanking me after you read the first word from the very first chapter.
That word, by the way, is INSERT_FIRST_WORD_FROM_THE_FIRST_CHAPTER_OF_YOUR_BOOK_HERE.
Here’s what I’m looking for: Take a weekend to read my book. Or do what I did in college and read the first, middle and last chapter so you can speak to all three, giving the appearance of having read the book. Then, write an amazing review making sure to integrate this list (attached) of sixteen keywords and phrases into the body of your review to optimize the google search results for my review. REMEMBER_TO_ATTACH_SIXTEEN_KEYWORDS_AND_PHRASES_RELATED_TO_YOUR_BOOK. Please take your time to make it real nice. This should take you a day, or a couple hours. Then make sure to promote it regularly in all the usual social media outlets.
I so look forward to working with you in the future. Please let me know if you need me to write the review for you, which might be easier actually.
Enjoy the book!
Delima #2—blogger expressly does not read your book’s genre.
Take this example I submitted to Angella Gertrude of Angie’s Lil’ Angels—Young Christian Readers Blog.
Key notes: highlight the elements of your book which would interest your target blogger. Put those front and center in your pitch.
How’s it going? I see you review mostly religious books, spreading the good news for readers age 8-14 years old. Well, I’ve got some good news of my own. My book Blood Humpers is now available for review!
Blood Humpers, as the title suggests is hard-core, vampire erotica. It is a devilishly steamy and extremely graphic romp through Paris’s Belle Époque.
It is true, our genres may be slightly askew from one another, but there’s so many themes I think your audience could relate to. Crucifixes, for one. There’s like, a shit-ton of crucifixes in my book. And priests as well. Nevermind what the priests do in the book, or what is done to them. Just rest assured, there’s a whole lot of priests in this book. And religious imagery? Lady, if you’re looking for religious imagery, you’ve hit paydirt! Blood Humpers gots your religious imagery in spades.
Please give my book a try, you may just find it opens a whole new world to you and your young audience!
Delima #3—so many bloggers, so little time.
Key notes: send this to as many people as possible. You can send maybe 50-60 a day! Maybe the recipients aren’t even book bloggers. Maybe they’re food bloggers, or model airplane bloggers. Maybe this is a reply to a lawnmower for sale on Craigslist. Send it anyway. Cast a wide net and you’ll catch more fish. Ask any fisherman about that analogy and they’ll have to agree with you. It works!
My name is NAME. I wrote a book. It’s title is TITLE. It is about WHAT_THE_BOOK_IS_ABOUT_IN_5_WORDS_OR_LESS. I need reviews. I would like you to review my book. I have included my book in PRINT_EPUB_YADDA_YADDA_YADDA for your convenience. You and your readers will like it.
Please read and review my book in the next week or so K?
Now, with these easy to use templates, you can finally get the reviews you deserve without having to do any research, invest any time or even care about the bloggers who’ll be promoting your book.